I made a decision a little while ago and sat with it before I dared breathe it out loud. Was it time for me to celebrate at table for the last time as Incumbent at Fernie Shared Ministry?
After prayerful consideration I decided to choose a Wednesday (reasons described soon) and the end of November. Why then? Well, my birthday is the end of November, and the anniversary of my Diaconal ordination is the 29th of November. When I started at Christ Church Anglican, Fernie (predecessor to Fernie Shared Ministry), there had been a long standing Wednesday "Saint's Day" service.
Each Wednesday at 10:00 am there would be a different saint, taken from a collection called, unironically "For All the Saints", which contained prescriptive scripture, a collect (prayer), and short biography. In a couple of years we had exhausted all the saints, so I started searching for other resources I could use for saints. And after it felt like I'd exhausted those resources I asked the small but mighty congregation, if they would be interested in hearing about mystics and the response was overwhelmingly positive.
During COVID we had to pivot from in person worship to Zoom worship and our Wednesday worship grew with folks from all over Canada. Many of whom continued to join us on Wednesdays when we were allowed to gather again in person. When I went on leave the difficult decision was made to stop Wednesday worship as the people who could lead it were not confident in their technological prowess, and so the Wednesday worship ceased.
I know you're not supposed to have favourites, but I have to say the Wedesnday congregation is amazing. They support each other and me. When one parishioner who is from the Okanagan started joining us during Lent, she asked if she could continue to worship with the folks after Easter and, of course, they said yes. She joined faithfully for years! Every now and then she'd need to miss a week because of an appointment, etc. She was part of the family.
And so, it only felt right that I should have my final service on a Wednesday. Also, because many of my friends are clergy, this means they may be able to attend, either in person or online.
I'm going to write the service myself, which is something that is still relatively new to me. I love liturgy. I love crafting services, using words and symbols and music to tell a story. In the Anglican tradition, the services are set in the Book of Common Prayer or the Book of Alternative Services. There are also supplementary resources for Morning and Evening Prayer and some alternative Eucharist (Communion) services.
My final service will have my fingerprints all over it. There will be hymns from all three hymn books. The scripture will be for the day and theme. The sermon will be an opportunity to say thank you and goodbye. My beloved and I will continue to live in Fernie, for as long as we can afford to. He's taking a few days off around my final service so he can be there in person and help me say goodbye. And then we will leave town for a bit of a break and a breather.
Why has it taken me so long? Well, quite simply, I'm ornery. In the back of my mind, I was hoping that my shoulder would release and I'd be able to return to work. I was hoping that I'd find the magic potion that would allow me to get my energy back and not have any pain. I was hoping beyond hope that I'd be able to return to work before my official retirement (31 December 2027). And yet, I'm realising that I'm not going to get any better than I am now. The past couple of days have been horrible, pain wise and it feels like I'm losing what little range of mobility that I had. Which is devastating.
And so, I've had a little pep talk with myself and decided that I want to say goodbye to the good people of Fernie Shared Ministry and focus 100% on my health. I hesitate to say recovery because I'm quite sure I'm as healthy as I'm going to get. I need to work on maintaining that level of health and strength.
I'm going away this weekend with my Beloved. To a small town a couple of hours drive away. To do some touristy things, do some exploring and perhaps a bit of shopping in a larger centre a little further away then where we will be. I'm hoping to have decent energy to dive head first into writing the service early next week. It will likely take me some time to get it just right. And I know, with absolute certainty, that it will make me cry. I had hoped to include foot washing into the service, but I don't have the strength to do that so that will be excluded...and that's absolutely okay.
Anyway, it will be difficult to say goodbye, and I know it's time. As G*d remains with me, so do they remain with the people of Fernie Shared Ministry. They will find their way, G*d being their guide. And I will find my way, illuminate by the light of the Divine.