November 2023 was a rough time...I learned my beloved Sir Vincent had oral cancer and made the impossible decision to let him cross the rainbow bridge. That was on a Friday. The following Thursday I boarded a plane to Ontario to visit with my Mam who was dying. The first part of this story is found under Conversations with Sir Vincent, "Saying Goodbye".
The next five days were a blur of meetings and appointments. I went to bed Wednesday night, waking at 1:00 am to drive to Calgary and catch a flight to Ontario. I had been testing for COVID every other day and had been feeling quite rough, but put it down to stress, loss and anxiety. Air travel is my least favourite form of travel.
My brother collected me at the airport, then we went back to his place. I greeted my nephews as they came in from school and we all had dinner with my sister-in-law. I dosed off at the kitchen table and decided an early night was a good idea. Woke the next morning at 10:00 am, sleeping 14 hours.
We tested for COVID as we were going to visit the facility where my Mam had moved before she went into hospital. I tested positive. Which meant banishment to the basement, separation from my family, and lots of rest, water, tea and toast. Five days later I tested again, and thanks be to God it was negative.
Went to visit my Mam twice with my sister-in-law. Friday the 2nd my brother and I went in and she was non-responsive. We were unable to rouse her. She was transferred to the "respiratory" floor, where she was diagnosed with COVID, which she had contracted from the hospital several days before.
She had a couple of hours where she roused and we had strange conversations and sang some of the old songs. And she slipped back into the dark and we waited. About 3:00 am my brother and sister-in-law decided to go home and get some sleep. I stayed and talked with my Mam. I anointed her and sang the Song of Simeon. Then I kept watch.
My brother came back at 11:30 am on Saturday and I drove home in a wicked windstorm. By the time I got there, he had called my sister-in-law and wanted her to sit with him. She returned to the hospital, and after speaking with my nephews about death and dying, I showered, changed into my pjs and went to sleep.
This photograph is of my Mam's hand with my blue hospital glove underneath it. It's resting on her lap, on top of a knitted prayer shawl I brought with me from my Parish. A few minutes after I took this photograph, I took my gloves off to hold her hand in mine.
1:59 pm on Saturday 3 December, my Mam breathed her last. My brother and sister-in-law were with her. I had gone home to sleep. Her death was peaceful and for that I am grateful. I believe she knew we were with her.
She has been cremated and there will be a family memorial service at the end of April at the columbarium where our Dad is buried in Sudbury.
Originally published January 2024