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The Audacity of Weight

barefootbellringer

I have been overweight most of my adult life. Scratch that, I'm fat. And I'm okay with that. I don't mind being called that. I don't consider it a slur or an insult. Three years ago, at a doctor's appointment, we were discussing my blood sugar, which had been in the "pre-diabetes" range for about five years. She was concerned with my health and my weight. After some discussion we decided to start me on Ozempic.


It has been a journey. Some of the side effects are horrible, yet it has brought my blood sugar back to the "normal" range. AND I have lost 75 pounds (and counting). For the first time in 30 years I weigh below 200 lbs. That is something to celebrate! I am no longer wearing 2XL but Large clothes. For the most part I feel better in myself. I can move better.


I've not broadcast that I'm losing weight. Folks can see it. I've not broadcasted that I'm taking Ozempic, well, until today. If someone asks me, I would share my experience.


In the last two months I've have several encounters with people that were just plain rude. I'm going to share two with you here.


I was a the Post Office, checking the mail (as one does) and I was stopped by a woman in the community who is rather well known. I can never remember her name, but there's likely a strong psychological reason for that. Anyway, she tapped me on the shoulder, took me by the hand and yelled "Damn girl! How much weight have you lost?" I was shocked, surprised and stammered that I'd lost about 50 lbs. "Fantastic!" she declared, "You've only got what, 50 - 60 lbs more to go?"


I stood, staring at her blankly; opening and closing my mouth as I tried to decide what to say. In the end I blinked, turned 180 degrees away from her and walked away. Don't walk away when angry. I went down to the river, at a brisk pace, walking and chunnering to myself of all the things I should have said, but they didn't come to mind.


I ended up miles from home, disorientated and confused. Eventually I made my way home. And I was sore and tired from walking so far so fast. Moral -- don't walk angry!


Another story...


A month or so ago I was visiting a Church in a neighbouring community for a Blue Christmas service they were hosting. I always tend to arrive early to these things as I dislike being late and when you're traveling a distance, you need to account for traffic, construction, etc. I seated myself about half an hour before the service was to begin.


A parishioner whom I have known for many years tapped me on the shoulder and said "Wow, have you lost weight? How much weight have your lost?" I blinked and looked at her. "About 75 lbs", I told her. "Wow, you're looking so good! You look so much better! I'm blessed to be naturally slender. How have you lost the weight?" I blinked again, "A combination of lifestyle change and taking Ozempic". "That's cheating" she declares! I blinked again and said "Sorry, what was cheating? And why is it any of your business why and how I've lost weight?"


She started at me, and then went off to comment something inappropriate to someone else.


I blinked and tried not to cry.


Why is it that after all these years, we are still judged on our weight. As if by losing weight you become a better person? That there's a societal standard that tells us we must weigh within a certain range or we're less than others. It's infuriating. I struggle with disordered eating, and have all my adult life. I have friends who are struggling with eating disorders for most of their adult lives. It breaks my heart that people believe they can comment, in public places, about something that is none of their business -- and yet they make it their business.


And yet, if we have the audacity to clap back, as it were, we are considered rude.


I've stopped commenting one people's appearances unless it's something specific. If I see a person with a lovely scarf, or gorgeous eyelashes I'll mention it. Never a persons weight. Because it's impolite and it's not of my business.


Anyway, I wanted to get that off my chest.


End rant

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